You're Not Your Fucking Khakis

What you wear says a lot about you. But you are NOT what you wear. Confusing? Read on.

You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

--Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Let's face it, we live in a superficial world. From Hollywood to New York, from London to Paris, from Milan to Tokyo, we are bombarded with so much media attention on celebrities and models and their glamorous lifestyles. It's as if they are the epitome of the human species. It's as if we are not adequate the way we are.

Marketers want you to aspire to be like their endorsers. They want to create a false sense of need for you to purchase what they are selling. They show you pictures and commercials of beautiful skinny people showing off their products. They want you to BUY your self esteem.

That new shirt might just make you feel as Upper East Side as Chuck Bass. That velvet fedora? Very Justin Timberlake. Or maybe you 'need' to get that extra pair of kicks because your friends saw you wear the last pair thrice already.

What you need to internalize is that the value of objects fade. Your value however, does not. (I will talk more on the concept of value later on in my future posts. )

Here's something to think about: If you had 9 pairs of shoes, try to think of the driving force behind what will make you buy the 10th pair.

Clothes are not disguises or costumes so don't hide behind them. Buy clothes so that your true self will come through. Clothes should not mask - they should reveal.

Ultimately, it is YOU who will define the clothes you wear, not the other way around.

Jeggings

This is the perfect example of a fad gone out of control. Everybody wants to wear skinny jeans now. A few years ago it was elephant pants. Cargo also went in style for a while. But nowadays it’s jeggings – jeans that look like leggings.

First of all you have to be realistic. Not everybody can wear skinny jeans. If you are not so tall, if you have particularly thick legs or wide hips, or a nonexistent butt, wearing super tight, form-fitting pants might not be such a great idea.

We can partly blame the Emo culture on media, like songs, videos and blogs that promote this kind of style. The hairstyle that goes with skinny jeans is the long bangs parted to one side covering most of your face. Punk rock is the common music of choice. Emo is like the new Goth.

You have to be aware of the origins of certain styles because if the culture and attitude of the style is not congruent to your personality, you will come off as a poser or worse, a fashion victim. Would you wear Gangsta and put on bling if all you listened to was Josh Groban?

You don’t have to follow the trend all the time. You don’t want to be a headless chicken running around aimlessly. Fashion IQ is a form of social intelligence. In any society, duplicity is always frowned upon, and it’s the same with fashion. If you are projecting to be someone you are not, people will take notice and most likely laugh behind your back.

I own a few pairs of skinny jeans but after wearing them once, I never wore them again. I have chicken legs, plus I don’t exactly have the ass of Brad Pitt, if you know what I mean. It was a mistake to buy them in the first place, and I learned my lesson. Nowadays I just settle for slim fit jeans and I’m very happy with them.

When buying jeans, the fit must be perfect at the waist and through the legs. The length is secondary, the fit always comes first. You can fold the ends or have them altered, but you can’t do the same around the waist and hip area. It should be a snug fit, not too loose and not too tight, especially around your butt.

I talk a great deal about wearing what fits you, not just your body type, but also who you are. In this case, you have to accept the type of body you have and own it. You can be big, you can be small, but as Nigel Powers wisely shared with his son Austin Powers, “It’s not the size mate. It’s how you use it.”

You Gotta Feeling?

Unsure what to wear to a friend's party? Vague plans for the weekend night out? When in doubt whether you'll be going out partying, or just going to chill at a friend's house, just follow one of the guidelines below and you will be fine for the rest of the night.

Just remember you want to feel comfortable with what you wear. If you're conscious because you are not dressed appropriately, then you are not comfortable. Hooray for logic!

1. The Jacket is your friend

In the fashion universe, they call it layering. Don't worry about dressing casual. Just be sure to bring a jacket along with you, preferably a blazer. This is a life saver, and it's a great excuse to take off and lend to your lady friend who's a bit cold.

The closer your blazer is to a suit jacket, the better. The pseudo blazers can work, but won't be as effective when the place you're going to is ultra classy. The point is to dress casually, but then have a backup in case you're going to a fancier place or occasion. Don't ever scrimp on your backup.

Other jackets can work too if you're a bit more certain of the venues. But please leave your hoodies at home.

2. Black is always elegant

There is a rule of thumb that you should always remember: Light during the day, dark during the night.

I'm not saying you should avoid colors. I actually like flashy colors most of the time. But we're talking about a night of uncertainty. Between a light shirt and a dark shirt, go for the darker shirt. Blue jeans or black jeans? You know the answer. (By the way, those beige khakis at night are forbidden.)

Black has always been the favorite of runway designers because it's just the most elegant color and is perfect for evening wear. It's also more slimming, and if you sweat a lot, it's less noticeable especially after clubbing.

3. Overdressed > Underdressed

If you're still undecided whether you want to wear those slacks instead of those jeans, go for the slacks. If you're tempted by the tie in your dresser, go put it on. Take your leather shoes over your Chucks. Or better yet, take Barney's advice and SUIT UP.

A wise man once said, "It's better to be overdressed than to be underdressed. If people ask you why you look so made up, you can always say 'because I have some place to go to after.'" The wise man was named Carson Kressley. True story.

The Plain Shirt

What does a plain shirt say about you? Are you boring? Do you have any sense of style at all? Did you wear that shirt to sleep?

Actually, a plain shirt is probably one of the best things you can wear. It's relatively cheap, you can find it everywhere, but most of all, if you can make a plain shirt look good, you can probably pull off anything you wear.

Celebrities can wear plain white shirts and look like, well, celebrities. It's why this is the first piece of clothing I'm talking about. What makes a celebrity look like a star? As you can see below, it's not the attire. Anybody can wear a plain shirt. But not everybody can have the confidence to make it come to life.

The secret to wearing plain shirts is of course the other stuff you got to make up the whole ensemble. It can be the hairstyle. It can be the eye wear. It can be the belt. It can be the jeans. It can be the shoes. It can be YOU.

Try it. Wear a basic shirt - white, gray or black. Put on a blazer. Get some snazzy shades. Style your hair. Do what you want. But as you do, smile inwardly and love your plain shirt. You can never go wrong with it.

You Deserve the Best

You want to look good. Of course you do. We all want to look good for different reasons. Most of us however don't understand the underlying truth - we want to impress other people, and we often end up trying to be someone we are not.

You should look good because you deserve to look good, not because of what other people might think of you. You invest in yourself because you have value and treat yourself with respect. You want to be your best self.

Here I will show you how to look good and feel great, without having to pretend to be someone else. Know what you wear and be what you wear.

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There are many trendy 'looks' out there, but are they your own look? Have you tried looking like someone you saw on TV, in a magazine, or on the runway? We all have, but is there a way to be truly original?

In the world of fashion and design, everything is referenced - from the color to the fabric to the cut and up to the mix. Designers copy off of one other, adding their own 'original' touch. But ultimately, a shirt is a shirt. And you wear the shirt.

Fashion is all about choosing what's right for you. It doesn't matter what 'look' it may be as long as it fits you. And finding the right fit is not about what size or body type you have. It's who you are.

Each article of clothing you wear has a story to reveal about yourself. And here, we go on a journey to get to know the real you.